The most common concern/worry/complaint we hear from parents when they visit is
- My child is driving me crazy, he/she is making a lot of noise!
- He/She doesn’t listen to me at all
While we understand that parenting is daunting and draining, but we support the kids on this one. Children have a lot of energy that needs to be channelized and it is a parent’s responsibility to build a lot of patience to guide the child in the correct path.
We decided to get all the parents together and discuss about various techniques to handle such problematic behaviour. Here’s a brief of what we talked –
When we ‘discipline’ a child, we often focus on the negatives – “NO” and “DON’T” . For example: When a child tears a Newspaper on the table, your reaction would be one of these
- How many times did I tell you not to do that?
- Paper is Saraswathi Devi. It is wrong to tear paper.
- Don’t you know the value of money?
- I know you enjoy tearing. How about I find you some waste paper?
If your answer was option 4 – then you are on the right path!
There is no one way to discipline. An approach in one situation may not work in another. Also, different children respond in different ways to the same disciplining methods. There is a need for a variety of approaches to deal with behavioural concerns.
What is Positive Discipline?
- There are no bad kids, just bad behavior.
- Instead of pointing out what the child did wrong, show the child how to set things right.
- Don’t Yell. Be Firm with your tone. Respect your child
Few things to remember
- All behaviour is a form of communication.
- There is always a reason for problematic behaviour. The purpose may be
- Getting your attention
- Stopping an activity they don’t like
- Gaining sensory pleasure
- If we understand the reason for their behaviour, we can respond better.
- Always ask yourself :
- Why is my child angry or upset ?
- Is he/she hungry, tired, sleepy?
- Children’s challenging behaviour can be reduced with support, not punishment.
- Shouting or Hitting is a temporary solution, stops the behaviour only for the moment.
- When adults use punishment, they are sending the message that anger is a good way to solve problems. And kids learn the same.
- Fear is temporary, it fades away as the kids grow up.
- Always ask yourself :
Most importantly, children learn a lot through the subtle messages that adults send every day. It is very important for us adults to be aware of the hidden meanings in our own behaviour.